• Juan-Fernando Duque-Osorio

Succumbing to the Marital Slavery Because of Slavic Girls (Ukrainians)

Updated: Jul 29

Bipolars shouldn’t reproduce, tampering with psychiatric medicines, photos of Ukrainians, love phases of Helen Fisher, surpluses of Slavic girls.

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Summary: Esteban was a relaxed bipolar bachelor dedicated to blog. But he played, in two occasions, with his psychiatric medicines and that provoke on him two marital attacks in which he becomes obsessed with marrying a natural blonde, as was his first girlfriend in the early 1990s. In the midst of his first “marriagitis” crisis, he discovers that there is an impressive surplus of Slavs, especially Ukrainians, looking for a husband in the West. During his first marriagitis crisis in 2015, he exchanged romantic correspondence with around 20 Ukrainians and got scammed by $500. In 2020 for stopping taking clonazepam, his sexuality and especially romanticism got exacerbated and his marriage with obsession for Ukrainians returned. He manages to circumvent the filters of a marriage agency that collected astronomical sums to communicate to communicate with the brides ascribed to it. He begins to communicate for free with girl from Lutsk-Ukraine and Esteban falls in love for her. He invites her on a cruise through the Mediterranean; but will they get married? Does Esteban manage to economically support Svitlana in Colombia? Is she accepted by his mother? Will they have children?

Esteban Conde is 46 years old and was raised in Medellín-Colombia; but since 2010 he lives in Manizales with his mother, Margarita. They moved there because after the death of their father, which occurred in Medellín in 2007, they were alone and they moved to Manizales where they have many relatives. Since 2012 his mother remarried and the three of them live very friendly in the most beautiful neighborhood in Manizales. Esteban is bipolar and as such has some writing ability and more than that, suffers from a little hypergraphy or graphomania (compulsion to write [1-3]). So, he has a bilingual blog where he publishes one or two posts per month. He has a lot of fun doing this.

In 2015, she got obsessed to get married. His first girlfriend in Medellín, when he was 18 years old, was of “paisa” descent that left a mark on him. The paisas are the Colombian ethnic group typical of the regions of the country where coffee is grown. People belonging to this ethnic group are Jewish converts (Marranos) who arrived from Spain in the XVIII century to Antioquia (department in the north-west of Colombia of which Medellín is its capital) and migrated south through the coffee axis and reaching the north of Valle del Cauca mixing with different indigenous ethnic groups [4]. The typical paisa is Juan Valdez:

In 2015, and suddenly as part of mourning for the death of her father in 2007, her affective dependence on women, typical of people with a bipolar affective condition, gets exacerbated. This provokes on him a “marriagitis” crisis. She subscribes to as many social networks for singles in search of his better half. He practically spends the whole year finding a wife. Her mother said to her:

- You live very well; you do not need anything and there you are looking for a woman who fucks your relaxed life and gets your pregnant you to enslave yourself for life to work for real.

In the middle of 2015 Esteban says to himself:

- But I want a very cute natural blonde, as was my first girlfriend and these are not abundant in Colombia. I have to look for ther in North America or Europe. But a North American woman will only judge me by the money I have, which is not much. She must be a cultured European who values me as a writer. But, anyway, she's going to be in a dominant position and she's going to get me pregnant and to raise kids. I need a European in trouble. I'm going to look for a blonde from Eastern Europe. I'm going to start with Romania.

And he began to compulsively surf the internet. Surprisingly he found several websites that invited to date with Russian women. This caught his attention and became a reason for investigation. It turns out that there is an estimated surplus of about 10 million Slavic women (former Soviet republics in western Russia) seeking a western husband [5-8]. It seems that a good part of Slavic men is given to vices such as the consumption of alcohol and tobacco. And since they have so many beautiful women around them, they do not value them and treat them badly. The case is especially pathological in Ukraine, now the poorest country in Europe, since the few men who are worth, go to the war that this country has waged with Russia [9].

So, in the second semester of 2015, Esteban dedicates to maintaining romantic correspondence with Slavs mainly through https://russian-dating.com/ which is a free site. One of the girls with whom he establishes correspondence, Ruslana, takes him to https://www.uadreams.com/, a marriage agency where he can see the profile of much better selected women. Such is that he begins to exchange correspondence with about 20 women. Those Slavic women are spectacular. They look like little porcelain dolls because of the whiteness and freshness of their skin. In addition, they take good care of their figure. They are very romantic and live as in a romantic novel in which they see happiness as a goal that is reached after getting married and reproducing. They do not see it as something that is enjoyed throughout life regardless of the phase in which it is. Like most people, they confuse progress with prosperity. In the first, a predetermined recipe is followed for everyone, which basically consists of studying the minimum necessary to produce money that allows reproduction, claiming the help of supernatural entities that obviously do not exist. Prosperity is not following a predetermined protocol and cab be carried out in alternative ways. A person can prosper as a professional without necessarily reproducing, for example.

He dedicates to exchange correspondence with Ukrainian women for about three months. Here is a small sample of the women with whom he exchanged photos and romantic emails with:

After several weeks, Esteban comes to his senses and says to himself:

- Suppose I manage to bring one of those Ukrainian dolls here to Manizales. What can she do before learning Spanish? How am I going to economically support her? I am a parasite of my mother and as such I cannot bring a second instance parasite to live with us. My comfortable life would come to an end. Also, a woman is not like a pet that you can leave in a corner while you are busy and only interact with her when you want to have pleasure. And apart from that, she will want to reproduce with me.

Among the advantages of being bipolar is that you can change from one moment to another. Then Esteban suddenly stopped communicating with Slavs. However, there were two, Natalia Litvinova and Irina Kartinkov, who continued to write to him.

Then he said to himself:

- Well, it doesn't hurt to continue having romantic correspondence with these two girls. They will be my pen pals but no longer for marriage purposes.

Both begin to send him some spectacular photos. Here is a sample Natalia Litvinova.

Irina supposedly was more natural and said that she could not speak on the phone because she could hardly handle poorly written English, much less was she was going to be able to speak it. Here is a sample of the photos that she sent to Esteban:

Esteban told her that it is very difficult to bring her to Colombia, but Irina says that she only needed an illusion and they continue their romantic correspondence. And given his bipolar affective condition and even being aware that neither can be brought to Colombia, he gets attached to both of them.

Irina is a nurse and can only send short emails from the clinic where she works. She said she did not have internet because it was very expensive. Until one day send a spectacular photo. So much so that Esteban sends it to her sister who works as an architect in Paris:

Then he started chatting with his sister Victoria. She told him:

- Pig, is that girl supposed to be poor?

- Yes, why?

- Because in that photo she has a Louis Vuitton bag.

- But it can be an imitation.

- Even imitations are expensive. In addition, he has a purebred dog on his arm. That girl is not poor. Pig, she is lying to you.

Esteban confronted Irina about these discrepancies and that was the end of their correspondence.

But Natalia Litvinova kept writing. She was supposed to be writing to him from a war zone and communication was difficult. She wrote about these difficulties and such photos were so beautiful, that at the height of December 2015 she already had him in love. Her emails began to be like a drug he was addicted to. He was looking forward to the letter of each day. Natalia noticed this and told him that she wanted to marry him and that there was a foundation that took her out of the war zone and to the country she wanted. That all she needed was U$ 500 to get her passport and visa. Esteban was reluctant at first, but eventually relented and sent him the money through Western-Union. Esteban was very excited about Natalia's arrival to marry him. The only thing that calmed his anxiety for this woman was watching Netflix episodes of Star Trek the Next Generation [10]. Finally, Natalia warned him that the money had arrived and the rest was paper work. That at any moment it she would arrive to Colombia.

There was a pharmacological aggravation. This happened in a week in December 2015 in which Esteban stopped taking one of his medicines because he was sleeping a lot. It was Diphenhydramine, an antihistamine precursor to fluoxetine which is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor and like the latter, it lowers dopamine [11]. According to Helen Fisher, a theorist of love, this type of medication lowers romanticism [12].

Natalia did not write again and at the beginning of January 2016, Esteban took Diphenhydramine again and stopped feeling anguished for not receiving messages from her. In those days he went to the dentist and lying in bed while having his teeth cleaned, he started to think and said to himself:

- For a week that I stopped taking Diphenhydramine, I got scammed by U$ 500.

A few days later he told this passage to a childhood friend from Medellín and he said:

- It could have been a Sergei playing with the sister's photos.

And that may be totally true. The case was that from January 2016 Esteban definitively stopped messing with Ukrainians.

Years passed and Esteban continued to overcome the mourning for the death of his father, which had long due to his bipolar affective condition. In 2017 he had an insomnia crisis and did something that is not recommended and this is to start experimenting with medicines to improve his sleep without the supervision of a psychiatrist. He believed he was empowered to do this because he had attended all the neurobiology courses during his master's degree in biomedical science from which he graduated in October 2007, just a month before his father passed away. In 2019 he began to apply strict sleep hygiene and his sleep improved a lot and he was finally able to fully overcome the grief over the death of his dad.

Year 2020 arrived and with this year the COVID-19 pandemic. At the beginning of it he feared because her mother could get sick [13, 14]. He was altered. In the midst of this he even contemplated the possibility that this virus had been created by the Chinese. But he quickly got informed and several front-line scientists published an article in the prestigious British scientific journal The Lancet [15] where they explained that this virus arose naturally, denying any conspiracy theory and in line with what the World Health Organization (WHO) denounced as a false news infomedic [16]. At the beginning of the confinement decreed in Colombia since the end of March, Esteban was still upset. She slept well one night and not the other.

Since a few years and maybe because he was dedicated to reading and writing, he disliked to get out of his home, and even more in the middle of COVID-19 pandemic. Since he is bipolar, he has sleep problems and must go to the doctor every month for his psychiatric medicines. But there is one, Clonazepam, that requires a controlled medical formula and cannot be ordered at home like the other three. So, in order to stop going to the doctor every month, he decides to start lowering Clonazepam, which as benzodiazepine, is addictive. He takes four milligrams and each week decides to drop 1 mg. The first two weeks the lowering was going very well. During the second week he had to increase the sinogan (Levomepromazine) to compensate for the reduction in Clonazepam. He started to get very sleepy all day. In the fourth week he began to have blood hypotension problems which are manifested with dizziness when he got up fast (orthostatic tension problems); he algo began feeling heat in the feet.

But the decrease in Clonazepam and the increase in Levomepromazine, in addition to the mentioned discomforts, have other effects. His romanticism and sexuality began to get exaggerated. So much so that he searched for the last girlfriend he had in Medellín and with whom he enjoyed sexuality at the most between 2005 and 2010. The idea was to have erotic chats and conversations with her. Martica is now a teacher and is very busy and can only use her as her hotline once in a while. Exaggerated sexuality is solved with complacency. This is very easy because according to Helen Fisher this phase of love only involves testosterone by men and estrogens by women [17]. The problem was that he also began to have romantic fantasies. For one, he called an old girlfriend from the neighborhood where he grew up in Medellín on a Sunday; he felled in love with her for about two weeks.

Then, in this situation, it occurred to him to return to see photos of Ukrainians on the websites he used to visit in 2015. At first, he begins to send cloned messages to every profile that contained photos of pretty girls on a free website (https://russian-dating.com/). He sends about 40 messages with the sole purpose of having romantic friends again, but gets no response. He tries to quit that addiction, but he couldn´t. The next day, he enters the marriage agency he already knew (https://www.uadreams.com/) and in which his profile was never erased since 2015. In this agency, girls are much better selected, there is no danger of scams and the response rate is very high. He updated his profile and therefore was allowed to send four emails and five minutes of free video chat for free. He tries to stop seeing photos in this agency, but you can't help it. Until he was Svitlana Kotichev's profile:

He was impressed. She is a 24-year-old girl, single and without children, who is an art teacher at a school. She is 1.65 m tall, does not drink or smoke, and says that she will discuss with her husband whether or not she will have children. Esteban wrote her the most beautiful email, trying to guide her, in code to his website so that they could communicate for free. The messages men send in English are translated into Ukrainian by the agency and obviously the part of his web address got deleted. The next day Svitlana responded happily and they plan to use the five minutes of free video chat they have. Before that, Esteban printed his email in large letters and during the video-chat he showed it to Svitlana, but she shows no signs of understanding him. The video-chat is over and Esteban loses hope of communicating with her again because to continue their communication he must pay astronomical sums of money to uadreams and he was not going to do that.

In the following days, he kept ingesting the same dose of Clonazepam as before and this returns him to normality. He found that he cannot stop taking this medicine ever again in his life. He started to sleep well and on time and to be awake during the day. He resumes his normal tasks such as making online payments and updating the house budget. Gone were the days when he behaved like a drone dedicated solely to his platonic tele-loves and the marathons of addictive series on Netflix such as “Designated Survivor” of he watched its 53 episodes in just one week [18-20].

When he least expected it, an email arrived with some photos and a writing in Cyrillic. he copied it and put it in Google Translator and it was a very romantic message from Svitlana. They had gotten rid of the marriage agency and were able to start exchanging messages for free. The only thing was that they no longer had the uadreams’ translators. Esteban was so happy. They started exchanging very nice photos and messages. This lasted several months, but already with his standardized pharmacotherapy and therefore sleeping well, Esteban was able to communicate with Svitlana in a balanced way and without affecting his other activities.

He also began to publish articles on his blog again. The first one that he published after having been sick for having removed Clonazepam, was promoted by him by all possible means including the excellent service to send mass emails from Wix. He had almost 5,000 contacts, the majority of university professors. One of them responded to his message interested in the academic services that Esteban offers in his mass emails. Dr. Hernán Méndez of the Universidad del Tolima-Colombia was interested in having an article from his doctoral thesis in Brazil, in the field of forest engineering, translated to English. Esteban did the translation and Dr. Méndez was very happy. He said that he had nine more articles to translate for which Esteban earned U$3,000. His academic services business was flourishing again as it had in 2016 before his insomnia crises of 2017. Tasks continued to arrive, Esteban paid his entire credit card and started saving. Meanwhile his communication with Svitlana was smooth sailing.

Between jobs, Esteban managed to publish posts on his blog and it began to gain popularity. He decided to monetize it by partnering with the Amazon affiliate program. When he reviewed a movie or a book, he linked it to Amazon and every time a visitor entered the online shopping giant through some of his links and bought something, Esteban earned a commission. Little by little this program began to give him returns. He was able to save enough to invite Svitlana, who now was officially his girlfriend, on a Mediterranean cruise in the summer of 2021, departing from Barcelona:

Figures taken from https://www.deluxetravel.com.co/cruceros-por-europa/ y http://www.centrocomerciallosllanos.com/nos-vamos-de-crucero-por-el-mediterraneo-con-viajes-carrefour/

It was an incredible journey. Cruises are definitely the best vacation you can take. Esteban had a bit of a hard time sleeping because of the heat of summer and the sexual excitement of having his beloved solely for him for a week. But he raised the doses of his medicines and they synergized with the alcohol of the cocktails that they took every night. They fall in love more than ever after this trip they start making plans to get married.

Quite an odyssey. They decide to plan their marriage in Lutsk, the Ukrainian city where Svitlana is from. Lutsk is an ancient city, on which the first records date from the VII century. The northwest of the country is close to Poland. In fact, it was a Polish city in the past. It is the capital of the Oblast (Province) of Volinia. It had an important Jewish community but unfortunately the Nazis during World War II ended it. It has about 220,000 inhabitants.

But to marry, Esteban and Svitlana must save a lot of money because after the cruise they were left with their pockets empty. Luckily Esteban's business as an independent academic was going well and Svitlana had a good job as an art teacher for children at a school. Furthermore, they must convince their mothers. On Svitlana's side it was relatively easy because her mother knew that she was going to have a better life with Esteban in Colombia and she offers to cover all the expenses of the marriage which was planned as a simple ceremony. The visa for Esteban to enter Ukraine was the least important thing because it is processed online and has a cost of only U $ 85. The biggest problem was to convince Esteban's mother because the idea was for Svitlana to live with him in her mother's house.

After arriving from the cruise and after telling about its details, Esteban said to his mother and stepfather:

- I am hopelessly in love with Svitlana and we are going to get married.

And his mom asked him:

- When? Where? This is exciting. I thought you had already defined yourself as a bachelor.

- We are going to get married in about a year in Ukraine so we must save money.

- And are you going to live there?

- No ma’, we are going to live in Manizales.

- Oh well, luckily the things you do in the internet earns you money and you can rent an acceptable apartment.

- My idea is to bring her to live in this apartment.

- What? Do you think you are going to bring me another mouth to feed in this house and apart from that, a woman who is going to compete with me? Or rather, another lady in the same apartment. You are very wrong!

- But ma’, is that if we live apart I have to lower my standard of living a lot.

- Well, the one who marries wants a house. And this is the end of the discussion. Good luck in your marriage, but far from here.

Esteban expected this answer, but he had a year to convince his mother. Now he had to be super-nice with his mom. He began to help him with the housework, which he did not do before because he said he was the parasite of hotel mama. Meanwhile, he urged Svitlana to start learning Spanish as quickly as possible, since the idea was for her to get to work rapidly to help with the household expenses. She began to watch her series and movies on Netflix spoken in Spanish, but with subtitles in Russian. In the same way, she sent Esteban an apostilled copy of her diplomas to be able to homologate her undergraduate degree in arts and to be able to work in Colombia. They also begin to gather all the necessary papers to obtain her entry visa to Colombia.

In addition to helping heavily in the housework, Esteban renounced to the monthly allowance his mother gave him and begins to cover his expenses with what he earns as an independent academic. Little by little he softens his mother. Towards November 2021 his mother asked him:

- How are your expenses now that you no longer receive my allowance.

Esteban replied:

- Good. As you have seen I am giving virtual classes in biology and Spanish. I am preparing articles for publication and my blog also producing money. I stopped using my credit card and I'm doing fine. I'm even saving a little.

- And do you continue with the idea of ​​marrying that Ukrainian and bringing her to live here? That is why you are so nice doing housework and everything, right?

- Yes ma’.

- Supposing, just supposing, that with the allowance that I used to give you, it is enough to cover the basic expenses of that girl here, will she collaborate with the house work and get a job?

- Of course. She has already started learning Spanish and the idea is for her to approve her degree so that she can work in a school as an arts teacher. And obviously we will keep helping with the house tasks.

- But you cannot have children because then you would need to live in another home.

- We already talked about that and we agreed not to have children. Rather, I convinced her not to have them. Are you accepting ma ’?

- Not! But at least I'm thinking about it. You have to keep working hard because you have a lot of expenses ahead.

- Sure ma’. Thank you.

Esteban was happy. Things were developing fine for him. The rest of 2021 passed and the summer of 2022 arrived. He had just enough to travel to Europe and then to Ukraine to get married. He first stayed where his friend Silvia Zuleta in Barcelona, made another stop in Paris to see his sister and a friend from school who was based in the French capital as well. The last stop was in Vienna where a maternal uncle and from there traveled to Kiev, the capital of Ukraine, where Svitlana was waiting for him. The next day they headed for Lutsk.

And the great Sunday arrived. Although Esteban is an atheist, but he obviously agreed to marry Svitlana by the Orthodox Christianity ritual:

After the marriage there was a reunion of a few friends and family of Svitlana. She was translating the important parts of the conversation into the basic English she spoke and the little Spanish she had started learning a year ago. It was a very simple meeting according to the means available to Svitlana’s family.

They stayed a week in Lutsk and amid mixed emotions Svitlana said goodbye to her family as she was about to start a new life in Colombia. Upon arrival they did not visit anyone as money was already scarce. They traveled from Kiev to Madrid and from there to Bogotá.

Finally, after three days of traveling, they reached Manizales. Esteban's mother gave them a warm welcome, let them settle down and during dinner she said to Esteban:

- Son please translate the following to your wife.

- Sure ma’.

Margarita stated:

- Svitlana: I have allowed you to live here, for now, but I want to make several things clear. This is my house and I make the rules. I am the highest authority here. I want your obedience. While you learn Spanish and be able to work outside, you are going to help me with the housework. I do not want allegations or any kind of rebellion. This is not going to be easy for any of us. I take care of the food and public services. My son takes care of the rest of your expenses, because since he met you has been a hard worker. Along the way I might think of other rules. Welcome to this house.

Esteban explained, translated it into basic English, and Svitlana replied:

- Of course, I do, ma'am. You will see that I will not be a burden to you. On the contrary, I will be of great help. I will follow your rules and continue to learn Spanish as fast as I can. As soon as I do and have my degrees homologued, I hope to be able to go out to work as an art teacher and I will start collaborating not only with homework but with money. You will not regret receiving me at your home.

And so it was. Svitlana devoted herself with her sole to learn Spanish and help with the housework. In her breaks she did nothing but watch series on Netflix spoken in Spanish and subtitled in Russian.

Meanwhile, the procedures continued their effect. They had to legalize their marriage in Colombia at a notary so that Svitlana could obtain her immigration card. Her bachelor of arts was approved relatively quickly.

However, the frictions happened. Svitlana missed her family and her culture. Esteban, due to his sleep problems typical of a bipolar condition, found it difficult to sleep accompanied by his wife, even in a double bed. Svitlana and Margarita communicated thanks to the Google translator on their cell phones since Esteban had to work and could not keep an eye on them all the time. Generally, his wife and mother communicated well thanks to technology, but translation errors and misunderstandings happened.

By 2023 Svitlana already had a basic knowledge of Spanish and started working at a school teaching art, dance and helping to direct plays by her students. It seemed like they were finally doing it. But in those days Svitlana secretly tells Esteban:

- You're going to be a dad

And he replied:

- But how. If we had agreed not to have children and all this time you have been taking good care of yourself with your birth control pills.

- Yes, but now that I have been working for several months it occurred to me that there were already enough resources to get pregnant. I lied to you about the pills.

Esteban sentenced:

- Oh no, now I completely screwed up my life!


Check out this post from dating sidekick:

Why Don’t Girls Like Me? Top Tips to End Your Drought Today



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