My Parents Planned my Life and now I am Unpolluted Regarding Marital and Reproductive Messes
Updated: May 27
Key words: Human Reproduction, Planned Life, Tropicalism, Debts, How Productive is Doing Nothing, Study all you can, Avoid Reproducing, I Dedicate Myself Exclusively to my Blog, Master (MSc), Doctorate (PhD).
Summary: I talk about a recent conversation I had with a childhood partner. This conversation left me impressed because now he is drowned in debt, with a son and without work. I talk about how my parents planned my life which resulted, among other reasons, in that I did not have children because I did not earned a Doctorate (PhD). I give advice to young people who do not have children because the world is overpopulated with the human plague and having offspring is no guarantee for the future.
Recently, I was impressed by a conversation with a friend from the school who still lives in Cali-Colombia (since 2010 I live in Ibagué-Colombia) who is indebted and full problems. He is an informatic engineer and then studied biology. When he was about to begin his second undergraduate studies, about 10 years ago, I advised him to do a master instead, but he didn't listen to me. About five years ago he married a partner form the university and they had a son. In addition to that he got into a debt of about $ 100,000 to buy a luxury apartment. The fact is that he is now drowned in debt, tries to work from home and his wife works in a travel agency, but the money they make is not enough for all the debts they acquired. In addition, he cannot work outside his home because he is the “female” of the relationship in charge of caring for his child and other household tasks. When I told him about making money online, he told me that it didn't provide much money, that it was very difficult and he generally had a very pessimistic attitude. Now it seems that he will apply to be a virtual professor at SENA (National Learning Service: where Colombian technicians are trained). In a nutshell he preferred to reproduce and fill himself with debts instead of having done a graduate degree as a master and now he is desperate for the lack of money. Their marriage stopped being something beautiful and everything became to make accounts and to pay debts like the song of the Puerto Rican salsa singer Luisito to Carrión: “Renta de Amor (Rent of Love)” :
Seeing his situation and that of other acquaintances who are with children and without a job, I thank my dad (RIP) for programming my life and my mom for enrolling us since we were three years old in a bilingual school. I remember in 1982 when I was eight years old, lying on my dad's lap he told me:
- There are 18 years left until the year 2000 arrives and then you will be 26 years old; by then you will already be a medical doctor, you will have a master's degree (MSc) and a doctorate (PhD), you will be living in the United States and you will have already given me grandchildren.
In addition, he repeated a lot to my sister and I:
- When the time comes to leave this house, you will do it with PhD, car and your own apartment. That is the "little impulse" that we are going to give you to succeed in life.
If I interpreted the way my father raised me, I would say that he did it for me to become a medical investigator of the US armed forces. But notice the order of things:
PhD, and then marriage and reproduction.
Since we didn’t predict my bipolarity, which began to be noticed in 1988 when I was 14 years old (now I am 45) and two very hard setbacks life gave me:
- I almost died in 2002 because the mixture of adolescent hormones plus bipolarity made my colon (large intestine) literally explode, giving me peritonitis that almost killed me and left me with a definitive ileostomy as of 2004.
- The death of my dad in 2007 from a metastatic liver cancer of unknown origin because he had a very healthy lifestyle without drinking alcohol or any other drugs.
I did not earn a PhD. Without a doctorate I couldn’t continue with the next steps that were marriage and reproduction. Also, as a biologist I am, I am fully aware that the world is overpopulated with the human plague and if I had inherited my bipolarity, due to a phenomenon that in genetics is called anticipation [2, 3], my offspring would have come out more bipolar than me. So, more than a decade ago I decided not to have children.
Additionally, children are a debt for life or else look at my mother who I continue to parasitize and gives me a monthly allowance and everything.
So today I thank life for having remained unpolluted when it comes to reproduction and marriage. The greatest entanglement I had was in the 1990s when I got pregnant, twice, the girlfriend I had during those years. I called her “chibcharona” because she was 12 years older than (cucha in Colombian dialect means old woman) and chibchombiana (chibchas was one of the main pre-Hispanic cultures in Colombia). The first time I got scared, but I began to study his hormonal profile and I realized that she had a problem with progesterone (pregnancy hormone) and unless he took excessive care, at two months of pregnancy, when the responsibility of secreting that hormone is transferred from ovary to the placenta [4, 5], she would lost the baby. About three years later I got her pregnant again and she was very happy and asked me:
- But can I keep going to the gym and everything?
- Of course. There is no problem.
And like a Swiss watch, after two months of pregnancy she lost the baby. So, in addition to these two alarms, I had no other messes because with the other few girlfriends I had, I took good care of myself when it came to having sex.
So, if you are young, try not to reproduce and ascent on the academic or military scale as much as you can. Stay in your parents' house for as long as you can to study as much as you can, because even today a doctor (PhD) may have difficulty finding a good job. Now, a professional degree is not enough for finding a good job and much less for raising a family. And all this because the world is overcrowded with the human plague, I repeat. There are so many people competing for positions that even doctors (PhDs) have a hard time finding a job today [6, 7].
As a childhood friend who now has two doctorates told me and now, I call her Dr. Pupita:
- If there is nothing interesting to do on the street, stay at home studying so you do not spend money and prosper.
Now I am fully applying this in my life. Weeks may pass in which I do not leave our apartment and I am satisfied going down to the pool or the Turkish bath. I am following a strict schedule and that has greatly improved me in terms of symptoms of my bipolar condition.
That reminds me of dialogue in the movie Tron 2010 . In the face of a great difficulty, the son asks the father:
- And aren’t we going to do something!
And his father replied:
- You don't know how productive doing nothing is.
And yes, it is true, more achieves one staying still. It is like a sister of a fellow university friend who went to the US to find a better future. There he found a husband and they had a son. After a few years the husband kicked her out and she had to return to Cali to her parents with her son. In a few words he returned in red numbers because, I repeat, a son is a debt for life. More would have she done staying in Cali without going to the US to look for what she hasn’t lost.
I have another friend from school in Cali who doesn't even have a professional degree and now has a 10-year-old son and she had to go to work illegally in Spain to be able to support her child.
So wherever one looks at it, having children today is a useless business. They say that children are the old-age walking stick, but the truth is that I see so many old adults abandoned to their fate by their descendants because the latter are full of responsibilities, within which the main one is to provide for their own children. Children are no guarantee for when one gets old.
Figure taken from the illustrated and introductory guide to the Evolutionary Psychology of Evans & Zarate 2010 .
They criticize me for having a planned life. Those criticisms come from tropicalist people (who are the majority of people in a tropical and poor country like Colombia) and when I talk about my plans, they tell me things like:
- Why do you plan so much if you can die before your mother.
It is as if one could, after death, regret for saving money as I currently do. That, I repeat, is called tropicalism, which to explain briefly is mental myopia. In our countries, most people think only of the present. On the other hand, in the most advanced countries such as the Scandinavians (northern Europe) since high school, the individual already knows what his doctorate (PhD) will be about.
Around 2006, when I had not finished my master's studies, I had a party at the CIAT (International Center for Tropical Agriculture) in San Antonio, the old neighborhood of Cali-Colombia, and I started dancing with a European girl. I asked her:
- What is it that you do.
And he replied:
- I am doing the field work of my doctoral thesis at CIAT.
Then I kept inquiring. Asked:
- And how old are you?
- 23 and you.
- I'm 32 and I'm just doing my master's thesis (MSc).
I started my master's studies in 2001 and given the crisis of my colon (2002-2004) and because of wasting time in public relations and useless courtships, I took a long time and finally achieved this degree in 2007 a month before my father died. And the latter was a setback so hard, that it complicated me psychiatrically for the next 10 years, so I never did a PhD.
Now I am very well, and I have several backup plans for the next 20 years if this, my blog, has not given enough money to maintain my good standard of living thanks to the pension that my dad left to my mother; monthly payment that will end when she departs. So, decanting what I published in my last personal post [10, 11] I decided to dedicate myself, in addition to being my mother's secretary, exclusively to my blog.
So, I repeat the conclusions. Do things in and ordered and planned way. If it is very important for you to have children, do not do it without a PhD, and a good and stable job. Do it as Dr. Pupita did who now has two PhDs and is a professor at one of the best public universities in Colombia.
And that’s how other animals do it. First, they ensure the right time of year, the food supply, the nest or covert, etc. And once secured everything then they reproduce. Instead, humans, especially in poor countries, first reproduce and then began asking themselves what are they going to do.
If you are doubting about having children, it is better that you do not have them and dedicate yourself to study as much as you can. It is preferable to be alone, but with money and not vice-versa. That is why poor people are called proletariat, because their only belonging is their offspring. It is better to be "monetariat."
Thank you very much for reading this blog post.
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