Bipolar in Confinement (COVID19): Nazis and the Japanese Won World War II
Updated: Apr 24
Key Words: Personal-Bipolar Writing, I feared for my Mom due to the current Pandemic, Intensive Family Communication, Malpaso, Hypomanias, Sleep Hygiene, Logistics, The Man In the High Castle.
In my blog, most of my articles are personal and have to do with how I undergo my bipolar condition. So, it is the first and main category of my blog. But today I have decided to take this further and specialize in these types of articles. Suddenly from time to time I will make articles for the rest of my categories, but today I got tired of struggling and resigned myself, almost happily, to specializing in this type of personal bipolaroid articles.
There are several reasons, but the main one is that the usual saying:
“If you cannot beat them, join them”
Today I finally became fully aware that, although I have come a long way in improving my bipolar condition, its symptoms will accompany me until the end of my life. I will be more specific: I used to only write for my blog when I was in perfect mood and sleep conditions. The rest of the time, in addition to the daily routine, I spent writing in my private log (the only one who reads it is me and it is different from this, my blog), wasting time and “scriptural” energy processing personal information that could be properly filtered for my blog. And this experiment to further strengthen my blog’s personal category, writing publicly even without being in perfect neurobiological conditions begins today.
And it's not that I'm unwell. What happens is that I am over-asleep and very lazy. These weeks of confinement due to the COVID-19 pandemic have had more effects on me than I anticipated, since it is normal for me to be locked up reading and writing.
My first reaction to the current pandemic was the fear of losing my mother who belongs to the vulnerable population since she is almost 68 years old; but as time passes and we become better informed, we hope that these weeks of total confinement will pay off. But this confinement has allowed us to unite as a family and we have been in fluid communication with my sister, (photos of my pretty sister, Gloria, on her blog "The Guayaba Project") who lives in NY; In the midst of this increased communication, as she is obviously confined too, I have been presented with an opportunity to join forces with Gloria to strengthen a long-term project under her artistic brand “Malpaso”, that could help to clear my geronto-financial future and which I am forbidden to speak more about, because of “bad energies” and these things that I don't believe in but that I respect. So first I was afraid for my mom, but this project made me go into hypomania about four weeks ago so much that I couldn't resist the desire and I made a family website with a registered domain and everything (https://www.malpaso.info/) on the platform that has amazed me that it is WIX, the same one in which this blog is mounted in and that I highly recommend. Such was the fact that after working "hypomaniacally" for a week at malpaso.info, my impulse ran out and I left this website unfinished. At least, among other things, I managed to pay tribute to my father Álvaro Duque-Donoso MVz (RIP) and my mother (who fortunately is healthier than I am) because for me, within my atheistic religious philosophy (which I will explain publicly in another post) it is very important to thank my ancestors for the hard work they have done for generations so that I can have the comfortable life that I enjoy today.
Thanks to my parents and especially to my dad who programmed my life and as I explain in my last personal article [1, 2] I was able, among many advantages, not to incur in life-long debts as children (although my dad wanted grandchildren) which allows me to enjoy a not only a comfortable but serene life, according to my Epicurean Hedonism [3, 4]. That allows me to have relatively stable routines which have greatly decreased the symptoms of my bipolar condition. Among those routines is taking a medicine that is good for everyone and has no side effects. It is called sleep hygiene:
I start my rituals for falling asleep at 18:30 when I stop working on my big computer. I take my neuro-medicines at 7:00 p.m. I watch TV on sensu-lato (I watch an episode of my series or I watch a program of analysis and opinion, always avoiding the yellow journalism because we, bipolars, are more sensitive than the rest of the people and this kind of journalism can affect us a lot), at 21:00 I disconnect from everything and listen to music in dim a light for an hour, at 22:00 I turn off completely and generally around 22: 30, and before this pandemic, I fall asleep.
Anyone, I repeat, must have good sleep hygiene. But in the case of us, bipolars, this is essential. In the last decade, the two things that have allowed me to make quantum leaps (super-significant breakthroughs) in reducing the symptoms of my bipolar condition have been quitting smoking in March 2015 and adopting a strict sleep hygiene with a relatively stable pharmacotherapy in early 2019. If you are bipolar, you will have the proclivity to lose your circadian rhythm (sleep-wake schedule) very easily and that will give you many difficulties to perform in your day to day. Adopt strict sleep hygiene that will allow you to be better.
But going back to my ups and downs of our confinement by COVID-19, about three weeks ago we had the annual ordinary assembly of owners of the residential complex where we live. It was a Tuesday night until about 9:30 PM. That disturbed my nightly routines. Two days from that I had my monthly medical appointment of March. The one in charge of our logistics is my young stepfather, who in those days was at the farm of an uncle who hires him for short periods to help him. So, I imagined myself taking a taxi and then going to the dispensary for my neuro-medicines alone with my mother, confused and to summarize I made a mental storm in a glass of water, thinking about the complication that we were going to face two days later. As this storm was progressing, I lost my sleep, I became hypomanic and I started to write an email to my stepfather saying that he was failing his supposed duty to take us in our SUV to run our errands. Obviously, I went too far in that email and the end, the next day the doctor called me to postpone the appointment and Maco was able to fulfill his duty to take us to this medical event and then get my neuro-medicines. I apologize to my young stepfather to whom for the purposes of this writing I say so, but in reality, I see him as an older brother because he is too young to be my dad.
But this topic of running errands deserves at least a separate paragraph, and even more so in this pandemic situation. I began to test the weight of carrying the logistics of a house more than a year before my father died. In early 2006, my father was transferred from Cali-Colombia to Bogotá for work issues. So even though he spent at least a week a month with my mom and me in Cali, the rest of the month I was in charge of the “field work”. And I was finishing my master's thesis. Then there were times when I was overwhelmed. But more than that, there is the fact that he programmed me, correctly, to feel that as long as I was studying everything was going well and I was doing my duty. When I was a child, he always said to me:
- Your duty is to provide me with good academic grades, I will take care of the rest.
So, while I'm studying, reading, writing and so on, I feel good. If I'm doing other things that don't have to do with this, I feel like I'm wasting my time. In the middle of 2006, my dad decided to try taking his Volkswagen to a different mechanical workshop than the usual one, and in he was being robbed. I had to sacrifice an entire scheduled afternoon of study for my master's thesis to go to the workshop in an emergency, argue, pick up almost spare per spare part and send that set of car parts to the usual workshop in a truck to reassemble the Volkswagen. It took me part of the night to save that car from bieng dismantled and robbed. At the end of the mission my dad called me to thank me and I answered him:
- Don't you make me run more stupid errands that have nothing to do with my academic development.
My dad replied:
- Little-Duke help me, I'm here in Bogotá working.
- Sure, since I'm here in Cali scratching my balls with a fork ...
And I kept going. Today, how much I would give to have him alive, even if he loaded me with “chicharroncitos” (little and hard field missions to do). This was in mid-2006. In November 2007 he died of metastatic cancer just one month after I graduated from my Master's. I repeat, now I miss my dad so much that I would give anything to have him alive even so if I got thousands of weighty tasks.
But in addition to that, it can be concluded that I am a dependent person who needs the support of paternal figures (maternal and paternal) even though I am 45 years old.
And the third hypomania of this month arose because I learned about the Amazon affiliate program. I have not tried it yet but there are bloggers who report monthly earnings of four figures in dollars or euros. There is one that reports € 17,000 / month earnings and proves it with an extract from Amazon. He goes on to say that he earned his first € 5 after 1.5 years of work and that it took him more than five years to reach his current earnings levels. The idea is that you review a book, movie or series on your blog and Amazon, after signing up for the said program, gives you some personalized links; if a person enters the website of this commercial giant and buys an article, whatever it may be, through one of these links, Amazon gives you a small commission on what your reader buys. There are bloggers who are even reviewing electrical appliances to maximize their profits. At that degree of promiscuity (not to say prostitution) I think I will not get to. I repeat, one can review a book and if the reader buys that book or anything else after entering through the link that Amazon provided, one earns a commission because the said link installs a cookie that lasts 24 hours in the reader’s browser. But to get to this, you have to have a lot of traffic on your website, because if you don't sell in three months, they will remove you from the program. It is a good idea and I am going to carry it out, but I have to find out more and above all, gain more traffic on my website.
Speaking of sleeping better and hypomanias, I forgot to comment that about 20 days ago I stopped taking Amitriptyline (tricyclic antidepressant) as part of my neuro-medicines-therapy and that has greatly reduced the potency of my hypomanias. Amitriptyline, as an antidepressant it is, was making it easier for me to go into hypomania.
The word hypomania requires an explanation. "Hypo" means low. So, at first glance "hypomania" would imply low mood. But it's not like that. "Hypomania" means "under the mania". “Mania” is what manic-depressives undergo. The latter were bipolars who did not receive adequate treatment and became ill. One can be bipolar, but have the condition in a subclinical state, that is, not being sick. When the person has to be taken to the clinic, it means that his condition became clinical, that is, he became ill. I repeat, you get sick, that is, you get clinical, when you have to be taken to the clinic or hospital and this applies to any medical condition or disease.
To finish, the other thing that raised my mood me during this conferment because of the pandemic, was the end of the series "The man in High Castle" (Link to IMDb | Link to wikipedia) based loosely on a novel with the same name by Philip K Dick [6, 7]. It is a Uchronic novel (alternative reality) in which a fictional timeline is created where the Nazis and the Japanese empire win World War II, dividing the United States in two, creating the Great East North American Nazi Reich and western Japanese Pacific States. In the middle of the two a neutral zone is formed that, where a resistance is created against both empires and in which all kinds of espionages and secret missions take place. In the last fourth and last season, an additional force is added, which is the Black Communist Rebellion (BCR) that fights against the Japanese occupation in the Japanese Pacific states.
A lot of interesting and exciting things happen throughout this series, but in the last two seasons they add to it the notion of parallel worlds based on findings from quantum mechanics .
At the end of the last season of the series "The man in the high castle", a series of events happen that leave conclusions, but at the same time, open many questions. After around 25 years of Nazi and Japanese rule, will North America become independent and strong again? Will the factions of the resistance, one of which is communist, unite? Who and where are people from parallel worlds coming from? Could it be the Jews that the Nazis exterminated in North America? What about the rest of America?
Thank you very much for reading this article.
1. Duque-Osorio JF. My Parents Planned my Life and now I am Unpolluted Regarding Marital and Reproductive Messes. JFDO's Blog; 2020. Available in: http://bit.ly/2UqgPb3 . Accessed on 27-Mar-2020.
2. Duque-Osorio JF. Mis padres planearon mi vida y quedé impoluto en cuanto a enredos matrimoniales y reproductivos. El Blog de JFDO; 2020. Available in: http://bit.ly/33kCa8l . Accessed on 27-Mar-2020.
3. Desola R. Las Máximas Capitales de Epicuro. La Nausea; 2009. Available in: http://bit.ly/31uKWP8 . Accessed on 13-Ago-2019.
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7. Dick PK. The Man in the High Castle. HMH Books; 2012. Accessed on 26-Mar-2020.
8. Kaku M. Parallel Worlds: A Journey Through Creation, Higher Dimensions, and the Future of the Cosmos. Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group; 2006.